Toilet Paper Vs. Shoe

Some days you’re the toilet paper and others you’re the shoe. Both have merit, of course, but neither is always particularly desirable nor kind, wouldn’t you say? Lately around here the two seem to be most at odds.

The toilet paper trails behind but won’t let go. It’s irritating and homely and causes others to become exasperated and squeamish, embarrassed in a crowd. And the shoe, well, the shoe could be called plain unfriendly, trampling about over the helpless and the unsuspecting. And irrational, too, dragging itself through the muck and yet becoming infuriated with the lowly rubbish for latching on (never mind that the shoe shows up uninvited).

I suppose that, given the option, most would choose to be the shoe – more of a sense of being in control, less prone to becoming tossed aside and of course often exquisite in beauty (though still it must earn its keep). The toilet paper is so often viewed as disposable. Yet, seek to find anyone who’d prefer to be without and you’re liable to come up empty handed.

It is with this, then, that I plead for a truce. You be you, you delightfully handy square of toilet paper, dutifully at work behind the scenes and asking not for recognition but simply for thanks. And you stay as you are, you carefully crafted shoe, carrying the weight of the world all the while staying in fashion or offering comfort to the weary.

Surely with all that’s at stake and all that has been done to put a man on the moon, a little sole and a little square can come together to make some beautiful music. (Or, at the very least, leave the trampling and the sneakery to the confines of the ladies’ room.)



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