And the award for Employee of the Month goes to…

Words and phrases like surfactant and wellbore tubulars cause my eyes to glaze over. When exposed to them at a high enough frequency I start to foam at the mouth, and more often than once emergency crews have been dispatched to revive me at my place of work. It is costly to both my employer and my … Continue reading

No Need To Feel So Heavy, Bird.

Happily, loosely and daintily you go, Unsure but always so certain of yourself. Whimsy never minded you much – Away you’d skip, lightly and aglow. This grey sky never weighed you down. You’d always turn to me and say No need to feel so heavy, bird. No need to wear such a frown.

The Secret (A Working Title)

Have you ever imagined your perfect job? Envisioned your calling, had your destiny revealed, discovered your purpose in life? If so, you’ll understand me when I say that this moment of absolute certainty is one like no other. That it causes the hairs on the back of your neck to stand and it brings to … Continue reading

Toilet Paper Vs. Shoe

Some days you’re the toilet paper and others you’re the shoe. Both have merit, of course, but neither is always particularly desirable nor kind, wouldn’t you say? Lately around here the two seem to be most at odds. The toilet paper trails behind but won’t let go. It’s irritating and homely and causes others to … Continue reading

No Matter, Mr. Walrus. It’s Popeye’s Secret That Has Beseeched me

Mr. Walrus, won’t you stay awhile and talk of things with me? With all these questions that I have, perhaps your answers’ll grow me wings, you see. Like what of love and all its blooms, or the blues and lows and sighs it brings? Or how surely someday it’ll grab hold my heart,  will fly … Continue reading

My Brain, My Lobster

Dear Amy, How can I say this so that you’ll understand? I know you love a seafood feast. Allow me to inform you that I have become the lobster on your plate. But I was glowing orange once. Fiery bright and fresh. I’ve darkened and I’ve stilled here, not with a quiet contemplation but a … Continue reading

Hey Mr. Valentine, I’ve Got a Secret For You

Hey there, Mr. Valentine. I’ve got a secret for you. This year you just might get lucky. I know I’ve held out before but lately you’ve been looking mighty fine to me. It’s not set in stone and it won’t last forever, but right now I’m craving whatever it is that you’ve been cooking. I … Continue reading

Baby, Don’t Be Blue. Be Bloom.

 So you’re feeling blue, you say. Not the kind that science proves, but just a little worse for wear? Don’t you worry, we’ve all been low before. Another once said to me Hey girl, don’t be blue. Instead be bloom. Life’s stronger than it seems, you know. So you’re feeling low, you say. Take a … Continue reading

My Cure for Heartache Is Just Down Candy Cane Lane

Time has a way of making fools out of us all, doesn’t it? There was a time when I felt with absolute certainty that the man I was with was the man I was meant to marry. And, despite that nagging voice in my head reminding me that I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted to … Continue reading